Kat (insomnikat) wrote in gwslashresearch,
Kat
insomnikat
gwslashresearch

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Are you sure the dishwashing liquid isn't toxic in some way?

While I was washing the dishes a few minutes ago I got to thinking why I wouldn't write slash. Alude to it, sure, but put down in words all the dirty juicy images I've conjured up in my mind? Haha, it's not that I'm some kind of closet pervert when it comes to fic writing. I just... can't.

And around the 6th dish or so, it occurred to me exactly why: because if I did so, I'd have put down in real words, created some kind of "physical" dimension, my expectations of love and sex.

Yes, yes, I KNOW I will never have gay man sex... but that's what I'm trying to explain! I don't want to draw the line in the sand, you see. Set the bar and at the same time set the limitations. Because I do believe that one's writing does reveal to both the readers and to oneself just exactly what kind of person you are. Your preferences, your tastes... your level of (im)morality.

Because I truly, sincerely do feel a sense of loss every time I am forced to admit that the extent of my participation in gay man sex -- and slashing left, right, center all forms of "fictional" bishies -- is spectator at best.

I mean, I truly do think if I could break that writer's block of mine and truly cross into the 14A and above ratings I could be a fairly reputable fic writer. But I can't, because you know what? I have to get a boyfriend first. I have no qualms about swinging the other way, but as a friend put it, "Kat, you like guys WAY too much for that to last." And really, at this point, I feel sorry for the poor soul who will eventually cut it for that role. *looks over shoulder wearily if the ghosts of summer pasts are around*

Okay, back to studying. Oh yeah, and I curse Rachel for good measure and thank the gods I am inflicted with these... odd invasions of the thoughts... while I'm conscious and soaping kitchen utensils and NOT in my dreams embodied in the form of Michael Jackson. :P
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